REASON THREE - To Look Good

I don't know if other people would agree or not, but I personally think I look better thin. Maybe its because I have more confidence and that comes across as beauty, or maybe its cuz having more confidence makes me want to take better care of myself - but whatever it is, I think that making all this effort is worth it because I like looking good.

(wow that was a vain little post... but you guys know what I'm trying to say, right?)

REASON TWO - Clothes That Fit

I made this top ten list back in January - and this is the order they came to my mind then. I have to say that this reason itself was more one of my initial reasons for working hard at the weight loss - the more I lose, the more I have clothes of all different sizes around to wear. Right now, I have clothes anywhere from size 9 (snug!) to size 14 (way too big) in my closet. But, I much prefer to wear the smaller ones and have them look good. My newest clothes are all the smaller ones - they were bought a couple of years ago - and so I really want to be able to wear them as opposed to my larger ones that were mostly bought in like 2002 before we moved to Japan.

Anyway, that is today's reason for remembering:

Don't sacrifice what you want most for what you want at the moment!

REASON ONE - Self Esteem

I think one of the biggest reasons that I've wanted to lose weight, and one of the rewards that I've enjoyed most so far is the fact that it increases my self-esteem. I have no idea why this is, and it makes me mad, because i know there are millions of overweight people in the world who are struggling with poor self esteem as a result, which is sad. BUT for whatever reason, losing weight does make me feel MUCH more confident about myself, much more beautiful, much more worthy, and just gives me a general aura that I know has not been there for most of my life. And I enjoy that. So, I've chosen it as reason #1 why I've been working on this so hard, and why I will continue to keep going - even when it is stinking tough, like this week is for some reason.
I deserve to lose weight and I deserve my self-respect. And I deserve to feel that confidence that comes with it.

As a side note, my big mantra this week has been "Don't give up what you want most for what you want at the moment" - I can't believe how often I've been chanting that to myself to avoid making poor eating choices... but so far its working.

(("Don't give up what you want most for what you want at the moment""Don't give up what you want most for what you want at the moment""Don't give up what you want most for what you want at the moment""Don't give up what you want most for what you want at the moment""Don't give up what you want most for what you want at the moment""Don't give up what you want most for what you want at the moment"... ))

:o) Just thought I'd let you in on whats going on in my head today...

Here's to sticking to it and having good self esteem ... because we all deserve it.

Rethinking the Plan

Well, I went to Weight Watchers yesterday and got a surprise - I had gained 0.2 over the past 2 weeks. My first reaction was to want to burst into tears right there (thankfully I held back). Its so frustrating being only 6 pounds (well 6.2 now) from my next big goal of being able to go to WW for free - and then to have a setback. I'm so close!!!! Grrrr. I know all of the things that I'm supposed to remember - like 1) I've been exercising and so I'm building muscle, 2) the scale is just one way to know how I'm doing - I should also look at how I feel and how I look, 3) the scale could be reflecting a difference in what I was wearing or had eaten that day compared to other weeks, 4) not to let it bother me, just keep on going and the pounds will come off.

I know all that.

BUT, I was still right ripped about it and sad too. I thought I had been busting my butt over the past 2 weeks and I wanted results!!!!

But I have to say that I came home and thought about it some more and decided that maybe I hadn't been as strict as I'd thought over the past 2 weeks. For one thing, I only got 5 stars in those 14 days that indicate a perfect day of points eating (with NO bonus points being used). For another thing, I was taking the Activity Points (APs) that I was earning and I was eating them every day. And for a 3rd thing - gaining 0.2 is not really a gain - its pretty much maintenance. And so that means that I just need to cut back a point or 2 daily from what I've been doing.

So, I think the new plan has to be something like this:

• I will stay within my 23 points every day this week.
• I will not use any bonus points at all.
• Instead, I will tally up my APs each day and use those as my bonus points throughout the week (because they are transferable - you can save them up and use them all at once, as long as you use them within that week).
• I will not let this discourage me and cause me to binge or give up. But MAN its frustrating.

As an example of my frustration, let me pick on my dear sweet husband, who just had his birthday on Monday. We got an ice cream cake for him on the weekend, and let me tell you - I have not had even ONE peice of it. Not one. He has been having at least a big peice a day since Sunday. In addition to this, we bought him a Mississippi Mud Pie frozen pie about a week ago - for him to have as treats in the evenings, while I'm having my Vitamuffin sundaes. He wasn't having any treats for the longest time, while I was sitting there with my sundaes, and so I bought him his own, because the Vitamuffins are too expensive to share.

ANYWAY, so he has also been having a peice of 12 point mudpie almost every evening for the past week or more. And it hasn't bothered me at all really. I generally like my vitamuffin sundaes and I know its all for the greater cause of losing weight, which is what I really want more than that food.

But last night, when he came downstairs with his mudpie after having a peice of ice cream cake for dessert after supper - I just about lost it! Luckily it came out as a joking rant with much ranting and stuff, and not actually as anger - because it is not Trevor's fault that he is 150 pounds and has been since I met him, give or take 5 pounds. (Literally, he's never been more than 155 or less than 145 in the 12 years that I've known him). Its not his fault that I was eating only a 1 point vitamuffin and exercising like a crazy fool and that I gained 0.2. And he IS really very supportive, which I appreciate, ... but darnit - at that moment, I realized that I'm getting VERY TIRED of being good!!!!

So, here's what I need to do. I need to remember why I'm doing this and that it is worth it. So, this week, I'm going to post every day about a different reason why it is worth it to me to keep going.

And it IS worth it.

That is my rant for the day and my new plan for the week. Sorry it was long - but I had to get that off my chest.

I Did It!

I set 24 APs as my goal for this week and I have finished it! WOOHOO!

I'm a little nervous about weigh-in today though, because for some reason my scale seems to be refusing to work this morning (dead battery??) and so I have no idea what to expect. Normally I weigh at home first and that way there are no surprises... So we will see.

I'll keep you posted.

The Day That Pigs Fly

I think that day has arrived.

Because I just jogged for 20 minutes straight.

By Choice.

And I didn't die... in fact, I feel quite good.

Weird.

Weighty Matters

Hey, I don't know if any of you have checked out the blog "Weighty Matters" (over to the right in my "blog list" section) - but his post today about Congenital Happiness Sufferers is pretty hilarious. You can click on it to the right or click here to see todays post. :o)

Happy Friday Everyone!