P.S.

I added a fancy weightloss ticker down at the bottom - it is new, and it is starting from the point I'm at right now, this week.  So, it doesn't take any past weight loss into account at all.  I'm just starting here (at 173 pounds) and shooting to lose 25 pounds, down to 148.  I don't have a timeframe set for that... but I'm hoping that I will just start to slowly lose and continually lose till I'm there - no more gaining for me!!! That is the most important thing to me right now.

SMART Goals

I just read this post HERE about setting SMART goals for oneself.  I found it inspiring and so, I'd like to do the same.  SMART goals are: Specific, Motivational, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound and they are something I haven't set for myself in a very, VERY long time.
I have to say that I joined TOPS last week, and while I'm somewhat excited about the support aspect of that, I have done nothing - NOTHING differently this week to try to lose weight.  Like, no exercise, no tracking of eating (for more than 3 hours each day anyway), and not a lot of restriction on treats and stuff.  And I am hating myself for it, and thinking - if joining a new weight loss program has done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to motivate me, what will?? Ugh.
I think that perhaps setting extremely small goals for myself would be a start.  So, I will brainstorm about that here.  I haven't thought ahead about this at all, so bear with me if I ramble a bit.
For end goals, I would like:
-to have lost 25 pounds - i.e. to weigh 148 lbs.
-to be jogging regularly again - and to jog another 10K race in June.
-to be tracking what I eat on a regular basis.
-to fit back into my size 8 clothes
-to not huff and puff when I go up the stairs
-to be able to show my dear children what a healthy diet looks like and what healthy daily choices looks like and what knowing restraint looks like
-to be able to get dressed each day without feeling like nothing fits at all.

Alright, the only way to make those things happen is if I set more specific goals or milestones along the way.  And I must remember to make these goals Specific, Motivational, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound.

• So, to break the 25 pound loss goal into this idea, that would need to be in smaller increments.  So, I kid you not, I think my first goal must be to lose ONE pound.  I'm not even kidding.  That would be a big deal to me right now - since all I feel like I've done for a long, long time is to go up.  So, I want to lose one pound, i.e. be 172 pounds.   After that, I'll up it a tiny bit, but still make it very small, so as not to feel overwhelmed.  So, my next goal will be to lose 2 pounds (i.e. be 170 lbs), then to lose 3 pounds (167 lbs), to lose 4 (163 lbs), to lose 5 (158 lbs).  I will, of course, be re-assessing these goals along the way.
• In order to work towards jogging - I will start with a goal of getting on the treadmill to walk or whatever just 2 times this week.  Weeks start on Mondays and end on Sundays.  Then next week, I'll up it to 3 times.  After that, perhaps, I'll work towards adding in some jogging.  So, my goal is that by the end of March, I'll be used to going on the treadmill 3 times per week, and I will jog for at least 5 minutes in each time.  In April, I will re-assess and add new goals.
• Part of the difficulty I've been having is WHEN to go on the treadmill - I like to do it in the morning, but have been staying up WAAAAAY too late and so, I haven't been doing it.  As such, another goal I'm setting is to be in bed by 10:30 on a regular basis.  Maybe I'll say that on Fridays and Saturdays I can stay up later, but the rest of the week, lights out at 10:30.
• And the tracking goal.  Well, this week, I'd just like to track every single thing I eat - doesn't matter how much I eat - just track it.  Then, next week, I'll try to stay within my weekly allowance with the flex points and stuff.  By the end of March, I'd like to have worked up to tracking every week and staying in my points - and I'd really love to stay within my daily allowance and save my extra flex points all for the weekends or 2 specific cheat-type days.  But for now, just track - no matter what it is.

And it would appear that those are the only measurable, attainable goals that I can set from what I listed at the beginning - if I do these things, then I will very likely lose weight, and the rest will follow. 

My printer is broken right now, but when our replacement comes this week, I will print this list off and put it on the fridge or something to remind myself about this. 

Also, I am hoping to start a weight watchers-type accountability group that meets at my home each week.  My goal for this week is to pin down a day for this and get the plans rolling so that by next week, we could possibly have our first meeting.  If you're interested in joining, please let me know! :)

Thanks for "listening" to me blather on, everyone.  This has been a good mental exercise for me. 

50 Days

So, I've been hiding from you all. At first, I was hiding cuz I wasn't eating well and was steadily gaining (oh for like the past EIGHT months!) and then, I've been hiding cuz I was doing better, but scared to share about it for fear that I'd screw it up and fall off the bandwagon again and then have to admit it to you. And between those two feelings, I've ended up not blogging like I used to. And not sharing anything honestly like I should be.

So, I'm sorry about that. I've been embarrassed of my lack of perfection and of my constant failures and staying on the plan. Boo!

But, I'm tired of hiding from you! And not using my weight loss/maintenance blog for what it should be - accountability! And, so, I'm going to seriously try to be more consistent about sharing with you here.

Starting with this - I'm currently on day 39 (COUNTING BACKWARDS!) of a thing I'm calling "50 Days of Perfection." Now, I know that you're going to instantly say that I'm setting myself up for failure by calling it that - but all that means is that I'm trying for 50 days to do some exercise everyday and to write down what I eat and not use any bonus points. IF I don't do one of those things, then I don't count that day. SO, what that means is that on March 22nd, it was day 50 - I'm counting down to day one - and that i've been counting down since then - i.e. I only have 39 more days of perfection to go. So, if you do the math, you'll see that there have been about 4 days so far that I haven't counted and have had to do over.

The reason I'm doing this is that I know myself well enough to know that success breeds success for me. If I feel like I'm doing well, I'll want to continue. Setting weight loss goals does not work. But, feeling good about myself does work. And so I thought that if I did 50 days well, by the end of that I'll hopefully be feeling pretty good and have the desire to carry on. I'm about 11 pounds above my WW goal weight right now -and nine pounds above where I need to be in order to be able to go the meetings for free again. And I'd really like to eventually be there again. That's where I felt best and that's where I was when I purchased most of my current clothes and I'd really like them to fit again!! So, I'm gonna keep-a-going with the 50 days thing, and I'll try to keep you all posted about how its going, instead of suffering in silence like I have been for the past 9 months or so. :o)

Tomorrow, I'll be doing Day 39 again just because I didn't write my points down today and that is a very important part of being perfect. :o) So, I'll let you know how Day 39, Take 4 (or something) goes...

Have a good week, Friends!

Goals for Now

I read a WW article this morning called "18 Ways to Reward Yourself" - and it motivated me to set some goals for myself this week and also set some rewards for myself coming up here. So, here are my goals:
-to write down what i eat everyday till the END OF THE DAY - no matter what I've eaten.
Hmmm... I was planning on adding more goals, but for THIS week - just till the end of Tuesday, I think that is really it! For now, that is enough.
And as for the reward part - I think I'm going to go with putting away $10 a week that I stick to my goals - from now till the end of the biggest loser competition - and at that point, I'll hopefully have 100 dollars or so to buy myself something fun - like a pedicure and manicure or a new purse and new boots or some such frivolity! :o)
okay, that's it for now... off to bed with me!

I DID IT!!! (and the flu probably helped...)

:o)
After 14 months, I have finally reached the first goal I set for myself - that was reaching 152 pounds. That meant a loss of 46.2 pounds and that I can now go to WW for free each week because I'm within 2 pounds of my offical WW target weight (which is 150 lbs). This week, I worked hard at it, plus I also had the flu for a while, and so I surpassed that goal (partly due to being dehydrated I'm sure!) My challenge will be to maintain that loss this week as I start to feel better and eat real foods again... we'll see how much of that loss was actually fat!

So, my next goals are:
1. to weigh less than Trevor, who has been 150 pounds since I met him almost 13 years ago. The lowest I've seen him was 145 when he was really sick one time, and the highest I've seen him is 155 - at which point he quickly proceeded to do situps and pushups every night for a week, and lost those extra pounds to get back to his normal weight. So, yeah, he's consistent. And I've always wanted to weigh less than him because doesn't every girl want to be smaller than her man? I've only weighed less than him once before (in the summer of 2007 just when I got pregnant with Elan) and it lasted for all of a couple of months. SO, that is my next goal - to get below whatever he weighs.

2. To get to 150 officially - since that is my official WW goal weight. When I do that, they'll have a little celebration for me at the meeting and I'll get the little charm for my keychain that you get when you reach your goal weight at WW.

3. To reach 148.2 - which will mean a loss of 50 pounds, which is more than I've ever lost before (I lost only 47 pounds the first time around on WW). When you reach 50 pounds, you get a little prize in the meeting at WW as well.

4. My ultimate goal is 138.2 - a loss of 60 pounds and my final destination weight. I'm not sure how long it'll take me to get there, but I'll plug away at it and get there one day.

So, there you have it - my goals for the next while. Thanks for sticking with me over the past 14 months as I've worked toward this first one - I appreciate the accountability you all give me with this here blog. It really really helps to know that someone/anyone is watching what I'm doing. So, thank you! And YAY!