Lessons I'm Learning

Well, today I weighed in for the first time in 5 weeks. Being a lifetime member, I just have to weigh in once every calendar month. Unfortunately, that ended up being a bad thing for me this last month - I gained 2 pounds and ended up being over 2 pounds over my goal weight, and so I had to pay $16.90 because of it. Boo. I have many feelings and much venting that I want to do as a result, but I don't have a lot of time and so I'll just say that I learned that
a) I'm too new at this "maintenance" thing to not be weighing in weekly - if I'd have weighed in sooner, I would have seen that I was gaining sooner, and hopefully put a stop to it sooner
b) I cannot let up at Weight Watchers at all - not even a little bit - or I gain. I have been doing Weight Watchers this month - just with a more relaxed attitude, and I still gained 2 pounds. You might say "oh, its only 2 pounds" but if a person did that every month, you'd gain 25 pounds in one year, 50 pounds after 2 years, and 100 pounds in just 4 years. Yeah. So, that's not okay.
c) Its going to seriously be a lifelong journey of learning how to do this right. Its been over 3 years since I first started weight watchers, and I have gotten better at it in many ways - more knowledgeable at least - but it still doesn't come easy. When you go to meetings and see the thin people weighing in there - don't make assumptions about them. They might be struggling with their eating just as much as you are - they're just at a different stage in their journey. I'm such a food addict and it sucks and I hate having to live with it, but I have to live with it and so I will continue on this journey and try to improve myself slowly over time.

So, I editted my little goal ticker thing over on the right to say that my goal is now to reach the 50 pound loss mark. I was only 0.8 away at one point, but now am 4.2 pounds away. So, instead of trying to get to the 60 pound loss next, I'm gonna break that down to a smaller goal of just 50. I'm going to start this week by ACTUALLY writing down EVERYTHING I eat for the whole week and my goal is to stay within my points. I haven't properly done that for a week since July, so that is my first goal. I'm tired of spinning my wheels (or driving backwards) and so I'm hoping to get a new start this week - even if it is the week Leanne is moving away, and my cat is sick and peeing all over and we have to go to Saskatoon to say good-bye to the house that Trevor's parents have lived in since he was born (cuz his parents are moving to Alberta in September) (and we are happy for them, but its still sad to say good-bye to our saskatoon home too!). Anyway, eating is what comforts me emotionally and I've got a lot of reason to need it this week - but if I do eat for comfort, I'll just keep gaining and that is NOT. OKAY. AT. ALL.

Okay, I'm done venting for now - off to bed with me. Good night Friends. <3