50 Days

So, I've been hiding from you all. At first, I was hiding cuz I wasn't eating well and was steadily gaining (oh for like the past EIGHT months!) and then, I've been hiding cuz I was doing better, but scared to share about it for fear that I'd screw it up and fall off the bandwagon again and then have to admit it to you. And between those two feelings, I've ended up not blogging like I used to. And not sharing anything honestly like I should be.

So, I'm sorry about that. I've been embarrassed of my lack of perfection and of my constant failures and staying on the plan. Boo!

But, I'm tired of hiding from you! And not using my weight loss/maintenance blog for what it should be - accountability! And, so, I'm going to seriously try to be more consistent about sharing with you here.

Starting with this - I'm currently on day 39 (COUNTING BACKWARDS!) of a thing I'm calling "50 Days of Perfection." Now, I know that you're going to instantly say that I'm setting myself up for failure by calling it that - but all that means is that I'm trying for 50 days to do some exercise everyday and to write down what I eat and not use any bonus points. IF I don't do one of those things, then I don't count that day. SO, what that means is that on March 22nd, it was day 50 - I'm counting down to day one - and that i've been counting down since then - i.e. I only have 39 more days of perfection to go. So, if you do the math, you'll see that there have been about 4 days so far that I haven't counted and have had to do over.

The reason I'm doing this is that I know myself well enough to know that success breeds success for me. If I feel like I'm doing well, I'll want to continue. Setting weight loss goals does not work. But, feeling good about myself does work. And so I thought that if I did 50 days well, by the end of that I'll hopefully be feeling pretty good and have the desire to carry on. I'm about 11 pounds above my WW goal weight right now -and nine pounds above where I need to be in order to be able to go the meetings for free again. And I'd really like to eventually be there again. That's where I felt best and that's where I was when I purchased most of my current clothes and I'd really like them to fit again!! So, I'm gonna keep-a-going with the 50 days thing, and I'll try to keep you all posted about how its going, instead of suffering in silence like I have been for the past 9 months or so. :o)

Tomorrow, I'll be doing Day 39 again just because I didn't write my points down today and that is a very important part of being perfect. :o) So, I'll let you know how Day 39, Take 4 (or something) goes...

Have a good week, Friends!