Rethinking the Plan

Well, I went to Weight Watchers yesterday and got a surprise - I had gained 0.2 over the past 2 weeks. My first reaction was to want to burst into tears right there (thankfully I held back). Its so frustrating being only 6 pounds (well 6.2 now) from my next big goal of being able to go to WW for free - and then to have a setback. I'm so close!!!! Grrrr. I know all of the things that I'm supposed to remember - like 1) I've been exercising and so I'm building muscle, 2) the scale is just one way to know how I'm doing - I should also look at how I feel and how I look, 3) the scale could be reflecting a difference in what I was wearing or had eaten that day compared to other weeks, 4) not to let it bother me, just keep on going and the pounds will come off.

I know all that.

BUT, I was still right ripped about it and sad too. I thought I had been busting my butt over the past 2 weeks and I wanted results!!!!

But I have to say that I came home and thought about it some more and decided that maybe I hadn't been as strict as I'd thought over the past 2 weeks. For one thing, I only got 5 stars in those 14 days that indicate a perfect day of points eating (with NO bonus points being used). For another thing, I was taking the Activity Points (APs) that I was earning and I was eating them every day. And for a 3rd thing - gaining 0.2 is not really a gain - its pretty much maintenance. And so that means that I just need to cut back a point or 2 daily from what I've been doing.

So, I think the new plan has to be something like this:

• I will stay within my 23 points every day this week.
• I will not use any bonus points at all.
• Instead, I will tally up my APs each day and use those as my bonus points throughout the week (because they are transferable - you can save them up and use them all at once, as long as you use them within that week).
• I will not let this discourage me and cause me to binge or give up. But MAN its frustrating.

As an example of my frustration, let me pick on my dear sweet husband, who just had his birthday on Monday. We got an ice cream cake for him on the weekend, and let me tell you - I have not had even ONE peice of it. Not one. He has been having at least a big peice a day since Sunday. In addition to this, we bought him a Mississippi Mud Pie frozen pie about a week ago - for him to have as treats in the evenings, while I'm having my Vitamuffin sundaes. He wasn't having any treats for the longest time, while I was sitting there with my sundaes, and so I bought him his own, because the Vitamuffins are too expensive to share.

ANYWAY, so he has also been having a peice of 12 point mudpie almost every evening for the past week or more. And it hasn't bothered me at all really. I generally like my vitamuffin sundaes and I know its all for the greater cause of losing weight, which is what I really want more than that food.

But last night, when he came downstairs with his mudpie after having a peice of ice cream cake for dessert after supper - I just about lost it! Luckily it came out as a joking rant with much ranting and stuff, and not actually as anger - because it is not Trevor's fault that he is 150 pounds and has been since I met him, give or take 5 pounds. (Literally, he's never been more than 155 or less than 145 in the 12 years that I've known him). Its not his fault that I was eating only a 1 point vitamuffin and exercising like a crazy fool and that I gained 0.2. And he IS really very supportive, which I appreciate, ... but darnit - at that moment, I realized that I'm getting VERY TIRED of being good!!!!

So, here's what I need to do. I need to remember why I'm doing this and that it is worth it. So, this week, I'm going to post every day about a different reason why it is worth it to me to keep going.

And it IS worth it.

That is my rant for the day and my new plan for the week. Sorry it was long - but I had to get that off my chest.