Happy New Years!

I just read this article about surviving New Years Eve and I liked it, so I thought I'd share.

http://www.weightwatchers.ca/util/art/index_art.aspx?tabnum=1&art_id=36631&sc=3046

Check it out!
On a side note, I went to WW on Tuesday and, after allowing myself a Christmas splurge, had gained another 1.6 pounds over the past one month. Which, really isn't bad at all, considering! But the bad part is that I have gained about 1.5 pounds per month for about 7 months now... and that is adding up! SO, I purchased myself some coupons for WW on Tuesday, so that I will be forced to go more often... this way its already paid for, so I don't have to dish out the money and I also don't have to stand in the line to pay before I stand in the line to weigh. So, that will be good. I now have 7.2 pounds to lose to get back to going to the meetings for free. I have 7 coupons left - which I can use one/month or one/week or however often I decide to go. But, I have decieded to get back to weight loss mode and out of "maintenance" mode - which wasn't really working so well for me, anyway!! :o) I wrote everything down yesterday - and didn't even use one bonus point! I'm writing things down today and am planning on using several bonus points tonight, because we have much yummy food planned for new years eve.

Anyway, that's where I'm at today and thought I'd share. I hope you all have a great New Year's Eve and a wonderful year in 2010! :o)

Still Here

Ouch - I just saw what date it was when I last posted here!!! ACK. I've had several posts floating through my mind over the past few months, but haven't actually typed any of them up. I've been involved in a few different competitions like I've mentioned - I didn't win or lose either of them, and I guess thats okay. I guess I've been debating about how transparent to be here... maintaining a weight loss is TOUGH and I'm not sure how much you all WANT to know about my thoughts and journey!! So, I've debated too much about what to type and haven't typed anything!
Oh well.
So, here I am, just saying I'm here. I hope you all have the Merriest of Christmases - enjoying yummy food, but not TOOOOO much yummy food. :o)
I'll be back in the New Year to share where I'm at - I'm still working at it, and finding its tougher than I would've thought. But I'm not giving up. This is, afterall, my lifelong problem to deal with. And I'm not gonna let it win. So there.
Happy Holidays Friends!

The Latest Competition

I have entered a competition as of today where each person in it sets their own goals that they're wanting to reach each day. If they don't reach them, they put $7.00 PER DAY not reached into "the pot". At the end of the competition, the person who has "screwed up" the least, gets the money. Fun, hey? The things people are doing (or talking about doing) are stuff like: watching less than X hours of TV per day, going to bed by X time each day, writing down what they eat each day, doing X minutes of exercise each day, cutting out coffee, cutting out fast food, cutting out soft drinks.... its basically just a big "quit your bad habits" competition. I've been mildly off the bandwagon for a bit here, so this is just what I've been needing for some motivation - so far, so good, I've written my points down for today.
Anyway, just thought I'd share. Hope you all have a great week!
:o)
p.s. my goal is to write my points down and stay within my daily points and weekly flex points as well...

Hmmm...

Guess that didn't go so well (referring to my previous post). And here I sit enjoying a YUMMY little bowl of ice cream. I just don't feel hugely motivated to be super strict these days - I am every now and then, and that basically keeps me able to maintain my current weight. I guess thats what maintenance is about - doing what you have to do in order to not gain! BUT I think I probably should make some effort to maintain my weight about 5 pounds less than what it is right now - then I won't have to worry about if WW meetings will cost me anything or not, cuz I'll be under my goal weight.
Anyway, just thought I'd let you know that I didn't drop off the face of the earth after posting 1/2 a days' points... :o) Hope you all have a good weekend.

Daily Points Tracking

Well, I told Leanne I'd do it, so here I am sharing my daily points with you all. I really don't feel like doing it, but MAN, I'd love to have my clothes fitting a little better again - and that will require some effort on my part and today is the first day of my WW week, so better now than never.
Daily Points Target = 24
Mini Wheats -4
Snack -2
lunch -7
vitamuffin -3

Points Left =8

Still alive

Well, I've really abandoned both of my blogs over the past few weeks... so I'm just here to say that I'm still alive, still attempting to be healthy, not always making it, but doing okay. The competition is helping me somewhat - although I know full well that I won't be the winner - but its at least motivating me to track what I eat every day, which is what I need to be doing! I think I've lost a wee bit of weight since it started 2 weeks ago, so thats good too. And so I'll keep working on it!
Hope you're all having a good week...
Colleen

Goals for Now

I read a WW article this morning called "18 Ways to Reward Yourself" - and it motivated me to set some goals for myself this week and also set some rewards for myself coming up here. So, here are my goals:
-to write down what i eat everyday till the END OF THE DAY - no matter what I've eaten.
Hmmm... I was planning on adding more goals, but for THIS week - just till the end of Tuesday, I think that is really it! For now, that is enough.
And as for the reward part - I think I'm going to go with putting away $10 a week that I stick to my goals - from now till the end of the biggest loser competition - and at that point, I'll hopefully have 100 dollars or so to buy myself something fun - like a pedicure and manicure or a new purse and new boots or some such frivolity! :o)
okay, that's it for now... off to bed with me!

Biggest Loser Competition

Hey All, a friend of mine is hosting a Biggest Loser competition (through Facebook) and I thought I'd post the info and see if any of you are interested - its not a Weight Watchers thing, per se, but it looks like it'd be great to do! Let me know if you're interested, and I'll send you her contact info - sorry for the funny formatting here, I don't have time to fix it right now. Here's her message:

Ok, here we go on towards getting healthy, fit, and thinner. They kind of all work together, don't they? Feel free to invite others to join the contest. If you're like me, sometimes I need a little extra motivation to do what it takes to lose weight.
So here's the deal.. every week you will email me your points for the week and at the end of the contest, the winner will win! The end is most likely in December, since that's when the show finishes.

Here's the points...
1. Weekly weigh in and measurements - send me your weight every Wednesday morning. (I'll keep track, no one else will know). 1 point each week. Also, once a month have someone help you do your measurements of your chest (just under your arm pits with your arms down), waist (straight around the belly button), and hips (widest part down there). Since that's the area that affects major diseases, that's all I care about now.

2. Journal - Write down everything you eat and drink. It's proven that 80% of people who lose weight and keep it off, journal. Be honest, 1 point a day.

3. Workout - Exercise 5-6 times a week for 30 minutes minimum in your heart rate training zone. To find this, email me and I'll let you know. 1 point for each day of exercise.

4. Once a week insane workout - So once a week, either work with a trainer, do a bootcamp, or workout for 45 minutes with your heart rate in the 80-90% heart rate range. 10 points for each workout, max 10 points per week. Also, with this, I will be available to train you for a $5 donation to the heart and stroke foundation. We could set Saturday mornings as our "last chance workout" day and we could all do it together. Thoughts?

5. Cleanse - So either do a body cleanse, where you cut out flour, dairy, and sugar for 1 week or send me a picture of a before and after of how you've cleaned out all the junk out of your pantry and fridge. This is a once a month challenge. 20 points each time.

6. Eating out - Subtract 3 points for each time you eat out. North American portion sizes in restaurants are Nasty! They have very little nutritional value, and are HIGH in fat. The only option is Subway (the healthy options, or if you have a heart healthy/low fat option at at restaurant). Coronas instead of Canadian doesn't count. haha.

So this challenge lasts till the Biggest Loser finale in December. I'll try to get some prize donations from some businesses. I'll keep you posted on the prizes. It starts this week (I want weigh ins and measurements this Wednesday:)Since I'm a trainer, I am all up for training you during this too, if you live here and I'm not already training you that is. OR, if you'd like me to send you a weekly workout, I'd be up for that.

So message or email me.That should be it, if not, let me know what we're missing.Oh, don't expect the same results of the game show. It's a game and unhealthy. Aim for a weight loss of at least 10% of your weight. Set a major goal and a mini goal for each month. Live by the 80/20 rule. Eat and drink good 80% of the time, indulge guilt free 20% of the time.Invite friends, let the games begin:)

August's Competition

Well, its all done and taken care of, and Amanda is the winner - YAY Amanda!!! :o) I'm not participating in a competition this month, which is nice, cuz I did for June, July, and August. I'm plugging away at attempting to count points and be healthy and am hoping to lose a couple of pounds in the next while, so that I don't have to pay next time I go back to WW (which will have to be Sept 29th at the latest).
Just thought I'd say hello and that I'm still here and still attempting do to my thing.
:o)
This weekend, Trevor and I are going on a 10th Anniversary weekend getaway to Edmonton - well, to the West Edmonton Mall, more specifically. We love going there and haven't for 6 or 7 years, so we're pretty excited. Of course, we'll be doing the waterpark and hopefully some fun at Galaxyland and some yummy suppers - so I'm hoping that the exercise I get while watersliding will get some extra points to enjoy some good food!
Anyway, that's what's up with me - hope you're all enjoying the month so far.

p.s. I'm back to my old mantra - Don't give up what you want most, for what you want at the moment... apparently, I'll be repeating this to myself till the day I die!! :o)

Lessons I'm Learning

Well, today I weighed in for the first time in 5 weeks. Being a lifetime member, I just have to weigh in once every calendar month. Unfortunately, that ended up being a bad thing for me this last month - I gained 2 pounds and ended up being over 2 pounds over my goal weight, and so I had to pay $16.90 because of it. Boo. I have many feelings and much venting that I want to do as a result, but I don't have a lot of time and so I'll just say that I learned that
a) I'm too new at this "maintenance" thing to not be weighing in weekly - if I'd have weighed in sooner, I would have seen that I was gaining sooner, and hopefully put a stop to it sooner
b) I cannot let up at Weight Watchers at all - not even a little bit - or I gain. I have been doing Weight Watchers this month - just with a more relaxed attitude, and I still gained 2 pounds. You might say "oh, its only 2 pounds" but if a person did that every month, you'd gain 25 pounds in one year, 50 pounds after 2 years, and 100 pounds in just 4 years. Yeah. So, that's not okay.
c) Its going to seriously be a lifelong journey of learning how to do this right. Its been over 3 years since I first started weight watchers, and I have gotten better at it in many ways - more knowledgeable at least - but it still doesn't come easy. When you go to meetings and see the thin people weighing in there - don't make assumptions about them. They might be struggling with their eating just as much as you are - they're just at a different stage in their journey. I'm such a food addict and it sucks and I hate having to live with it, but I have to live with it and so I will continue on this journey and try to improve myself slowly over time.

So, I editted my little goal ticker thing over on the right to say that my goal is now to reach the 50 pound loss mark. I was only 0.8 away at one point, but now am 4.2 pounds away. So, instead of trying to get to the 60 pound loss next, I'm gonna break that down to a smaller goal of just 50. I'm going to start this week by ACTUALLY writing down EVERYTHING I eat for the whole week and my goal is to stay within my points. I haven't properly done that for a week since July, so that is my first goal. I'm tired of spinning my wheels (or driving backwards) and so I'm hoping to get a new start this week - even if it is the week Leanne is moving away, and my cat is sick and peeing all over and we have to go to Saskatoon to say good-bye to the house that Trevor's parents have lived in since he was born (cuz his parents are moving to Alberta in September) (and we are happy for them, but its still sad to say good-bye to our saskatoon home too!). Anyway, eating is what comforts me emotionally and I've got a lot of reason to need it this week - but if I do eat for comfort, I'll just keep gaining and that is NOT. OKAY. AT. ALL.

Okay, I'm done venting for now - off to bed with me. Good night Friends. <3

Wedding Weekend Away

This past weekend, Trevor and I went up to Saskatoon to a friend's wedding. It was really nice because we left the kids here with Leanne and got to have the drive alone and kind of a little getaway (even though we stayed at his parents' place!) :o) We had a lot of fun at the wedding (well, more so at the reception/dance!) and were really glad we could make it. I was looking through my pictures today and realized that I look thin - well specifically from behind!! I never see myself from the back, and so the pictures really surprised me! It was a nice reminder that I need to keep at this, even though its been tough lately. It was also fun to see some friends that we hadn't seen for a very long time and have them tell me I looked good and say things like "theres 1/2 of me missing" and stuff. I know its vain and stuff, but its hard work to be thin and so I like hearing stuff like that! If you know someone who has lost weight (OTHER THAN ME, I MEAN) its pretty safe to assume that they'd like to hear it if you think they look good. Sometimes people don't know whether or not to say anything, but I say its probably pretty safe to do it!

Now, I'm on to yet another new week - its gonna be a tough one - Leanne is leaving this week to move back to finish her last year of school. Boo boo boo. I really will have to work hard not to use food to comfort myself... Yesterday I ate 4 of my big double chocolate homemade cookies in the afternoon cuz our cat is sick and I was stressed out. Boo boo boo. And you know what? The food did make me feel a little better - at the time. But not today - now I just feel fat and out of control! ARGH. But, so far today, I'm eating better so that is all I can do for now - one step at a time.

Kay, thats enough journalling for me - I've gotta go get ready so we can go grocery shopping! Have a good Monday, friends!

WEEKLY Exercise Points Earned:3,4,3,3,0,1,2

WEEKLY Flex Points Used:2,5,10,1,?,?,?

WEEKLY Water Points Earned:0,0,1.1,1,0,0

(13)

How Refreshing!

My friend Tara posted a link on Facebook today that I thought I'd share here because its so nice and refreshing - a picture from Glamour magazine of a "normal" looking woman! HOORAY! Its so rare to see - in fact, I've NEVER seen a picture of a mommy tummy like this published in a way that makes it look beautiful. How nice. Just thought I'd share. If you'd like to view the article that I got the pic from, the link is posted below, or you can just click here.

Here's to having a mommy tummy and being PROUD of it! :o)

http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/blogs/vitamin-g/2009/08/on-the-cl-the-picture-you-cant.html

August Week 2

WEEKLY Activity Points Earned:3,3,0,3,0,3,3
WEEKLY Flex Points Used:4,10,5,10,?,?,?
WEEKLY Water Points Earned:0,1,1,0,0,0,0
So, I guess this week I earned 11 points...
And once again, I'm happy its a new week! Man, this is tough to do during the summer, with holidays and everything! Argh...

Last Week (Which, Thankfully, is Over!)

WEEKLY Activity Points Earned:1,3,2,1,3,4,1
WEEKLY Flex Points Used:3,6,4,14,2,9,??
WEEKLY Water Points Earned:1,1,1,0,1,1,0
So, this weeks points for the competition totalled 18. I missed on 6 potential points this week, but I guess I didn't do as badly as I thought because I still got 18!! :o)
So, I don't want to know what everyone else in the competition's totals are as of today - because if I'm losing too badly, there might be some small (or even fairly substantial) part of me that decides to give up because its hopeless. So, please don't tell me your totals. The only reason I'm posting mine is because this is where I do my tracking, and that's how I do it. Sorry.

Now on to a new week in which I do much much better!!!! :o)

Welcome to August!

August has arrived, and along with it, a new competition! This time it looks like there are about 6 of us who are doing it - so its gonna be a good one! :o) WW has been a challenge for me over the past few weeks, but slowly I've been getting back on the bandwagon here - but its tough. I've been re-realizing that the name of this blog is very appropriate and I will never have actually arrived at a place where I don't have to think about watching what I eat and drink and how much exercise I do. But that's life and so I'll plug away at it and do my best. This month, that means that I'm going to try to drink 48 oz of water every day, exercise every day, write down what I eat, and try to eat with moderation - staying within my weekly flexpoints. I'd love to reach my 50 lb weight loss by the end of the month but I know that I'm not supposed to set those kinds of goals - so instead I'll work on these behavioural goals for the month and see what happens!
I've been neglecting both of my blogs a lot lately - but have recently found out that I"m going to be having more time coming up (more to follow about that - see my other blog...) and so I hope to not neglect the blogs so much anymore! Here's hoping, anyway....
So, that's that - we just got home from a weekend away, so I'd better go and continue to tidy up around here! Have a great week friends! :o)

August's Competition and Last Week's Totals

Okay, my weekly totals for last week (July 21st to 27th??) were:
WEEKLY Activity Points Earned:3,1,0,5,4,0,3
WEEKLY Flex Points Used:13,12,?,?,?,?,0
WEEKLY Water Points Earned:1,0,0,0,0,0,0

Pretty poor, but at least I'm here thinking about it. AND I succeeded in tracking yesterday and staying within my points for the first time in 16 days. So there. I did it. Now to keep at it.

Also, if you're interested at all, and haven't already told me - we have a group of people doing the little competition thingy for the month of August. I think there are about 6 of us so far - and at $5 per person, thats starting to look like a prize worth fighting for!! It'll be just like I did back in June - a point per day you track, a point per week you stay within your flex points, a point per day you do any exercise, and a point per day that you drink your 6 glasses or 48 oz of water. Winner at the end gets a $5 gift card from the rest of us from the place of their choice.

Anyone interested???

I was reading the Weighty Matters Blog yesterday, and came across this post here - and it was really interesting - its talking about the top 3 things that stop people from losing weight without their even knowing. If a person tries and tries to lose weight, but doesn't - these are some factors that Dr. Freedhoff will look at first - its worth a read if you're interested in losing weight at all! :o)

These are my totals for the week of July 8th-14th (well, they end on the 12th I guess). I earned some activity points while I was away, but none of the other points...
WEEKLY Activity Points Earned:1,0,0,6,2,0
WEEKLY Flex Points Used:16,5,2,3,??
WEEKLY Water Points Earned:0,1,1,1,0,0

It Ends Tonight

A few days of binging while on holidays is fine - and fun - but seriously, I have to stop. Now.

So, my plan is to post my points again tomorrow - for real this time. And weigh myself to see what the holiday damage has been.... it won't be good, but I need to face the facts so I can end this now.

(p.s. if you know what movie I'm quoting in the title of this post and you tell me in the comments, then you'll be the winner of the day... you'll win my respect and admiration, anyway... heehee)
:o)

Weekly Totals for July 1st - 7th

So, I may have had a few binges this past week... BUT at least I recorded them all and know exactly how many points I consumed for the week despite the binges. I guess thats good. I basically maintained my weight this past week, and that's okay with me. I'm hoping to do well this week because next week its gonna be camping and holidays for us and I know that'll be tougher!
Anyway, for my records, here are my totals:
WEEKLY Activity Points Earned:2,1,3,1,7,1,2
WEEKLY Flex Points Used:8,5,5,4,2,12,3
WEEKLY Water Points Earned:0,0,1,1,0,1,1 (oh, and by the way, Leanne and I have toned it down to only 6 glasses of water per day (48 oz) - 8 glasses was WAAAYY too much!) :o)

Progress Report

I just thought I'd show you all what my calendar looked like from last month! The stars were for if I wrote down my points that whole day and if I was staying within my limit (but still allowed to use my weekly flex points). Here it is:

Also, a few more recent pics of me - one on a day when I'm totally casual, and one just on my way to work at BPs...

I have a lot to write about what I've been thinking about lately, but I never seem to have the time!!! grr.... But I will one day.

For now, I'm at it again - in a contest with my sister for July - a point per day of writing down points, a point per day of exercise, and a point per week of staying within my flex points. We also added something new, with a point per day that we drink 32 oz of water. Fun times! But I can sure feel the difference these competitions have made in my habits and my size. Its good.

But I have to run - I'm off to my parents' place for a weenie roast/bonfire - first of the year!

Week of June 23rd to the 30th...

I just need to post this info so I have it - a proper post will follow soon!!

WEEKLY Activity Points Earned:3,0,5,4,3,0,0
WEEKLY Flex Points Used:3,8,3,2,6,18,??

I Finally Reached My WW Goal Weight!

Yep, so I've officially done it. After a 1.6 pound loss over the past 2 weeks, I've reached my offical goal weight. I got my little star charm to put on my WW key chain and everyone clapped for me yesterday. It was nice. It's slightly anti-climactic the second time around, because I don't have to do the 6 weeks maintenance now in order to become a life time member. I just am already there. And she didn't make nearly as big a deal about it the second time around (the leader that is)... but that's okay. My mom, sister, and kids were all there at the meeting too and Mom and Leanne did a great job of making me feel awesome. :o) Leanne also reached the 10 pound mark this week and got to put her hand up for the little stars, so that was fun too!

I now have 23 stickers on my calendar in a row. That is totally unprecidented. I've never been good for this long. The weight isn't coming off as quickly as I'd like for how hard I've been trying - but then they always say that it gets harder the closer you get to your goal. I'm thinking I might cut my flex points back even more this week to 25. We'll see.

Its the middle of the night right now. We're letting Elan "cry it out" (ONCE AGAIN) and so Trevor and I are both wide awake cuz we just finished listening to her cry off and on for about 35 minutes. She's done now and solidly back asleep, but now I'm stuck awake! :o) Oh well. Its worth it because hopefully, in a few days, she'll be sleeping through the night (again).

Anyway, my next mini goal is to get to my 50 pound loss - that is only 0.8 pounds away, so hopefully it won't take too long!! :o)

And my totals for this week are:
WEEKLY Activity Points Earned: 2,2,0,0,0,1,1
WEEKLY Flex Points Used: 7,2,1,11,5,1,1

p.s. Elan is crying again now... its been 55 minutes since she first woke up. ARGH. I think its gonna be a fun night...

June 10th to 16th

I worked yesterday evening and so I didn't get to go weigh in at WW officially. I did weigh on my scale, however, and seem to have kind of just maintained my weight again this week. GRRRRR. This is especially frustrating because the 2 lovely ladies that I'm doing the sticker challenge with this month seem to be consistently losing every week. And staying on track for 16 - SIXTEEN days in a row hasn't exactly been easy.

However.

I will keep going and this week, I'm going to actually do what I said I was going to do last week - I'm going to cut my FP's down to 28. And I'm actually going to drop my points back 1 per day. I've been doing 23 points per day, but since I'm right on the threshold of dropping down below 150 lbs, I'll be having to drop one point when I officially do. ((for an explanation on how to calculate your daily points, click HERE )) So, I'm just going to go ahead and do that starting now and see if that helps.

Also, just for my own tracking sake, last week's totals were:
WEEKLY Activity Points Earned: 3,3,4,2,1,0,2 (15)
WEEKLY Flex Points Used:14,4,7,2,2,3,3 (35)

So, here we go again with week 3!

New Job & Change in FPs

If you've looked at my daily points tracking at all, you may have noticed that I've already gone over my 25 FPs for this week, and so I thought I'd just explain myself a little. I decided the very next day after I set this week as 25 FPs that that wasn't what my plan was anymore. This week is the one week in the month (ahem) in which I NEED those 35 FPs - and I used almost 1/2 of them the very first day. I was craving chocolate and icecream like nobody's business, and normally on a day like that I would say "to heck with it" and quit counting points entirely - probably for the whole week. But since we're doing this little competition, I decided to have a treat but to still count it. Now you may say "oh my goodness, she had 15 points worth of icecream!! what kind of binge is that??" but I have to tell you that that is only 1 small blizzard from Dairy Queen - and that stopping after that was still showing control on my part cuz the kids had a banana split which they only ate about 1/8th of and we left 7/8ths of a perfectly good banana split behind. boohoo. So, you see, i was still in control!! :o)
So, i'm using 35 FPs this week - and hopefully no more. I have 3 days left here to split up only a few that are left.

In other news, I started a new job on Friday - serving at Boston Pizza parttime. I've only had the one shift so far, but I really really liked it so far. I think its gonna be great. I'm still doing my dayhome 3 days per week, but in addition I'm going to waitress 2 or 3 evenings a week as well. And I'm excited about it. AND I'm excited about how I look in my BPs uniform! teehee. I've wanted to work there before, but thought I couldn't cuz I didn't look anything like what their normal servers look like (you know what I mean... they don't really hire frumpy people, or obese people, or dishevelled looking people... not that I was any of those things before, but I still didn't think I could get hired there). WELL, I will have to take a picture of me in my uniform for you, because for a huge twist - I LOVE my uniform -and it makes me look thin and I feel beautiful in it (for now anyway - ask me that again after I've been working there for a year!) :o) I also love the extra exercise that I'll be getting as I'm working at BPs - lots of speed walking and carrying heavy plates is exercise after all!!

So, that's an update on me. Happy Sunday everyone!

June 3rd-9th Week

So, I weighed in yesterday and it was a little loss of 0.4 lbs. I always say a little loss is better than a gain, but in this case, its a wee bit frustrating because I have been doing really well with points counting and exercising for the past week. However, I am definitely retaining right now and I know that has something to do with it. Also, I used ALL 35 of my flex points for last week (and not one more) and I know that for me, I won't lose as much if i use all of them.
SO, this week, I am only going to use 25 FPs - and we'll see what happens.
Just for my own record keeping, last weeks totals were:
WEEKLY Activity Points Earned: 4,3,2,0,2,3,4
WEEKLY Flex Points Used: 2,9,6,7,6,4,1

On to week 2 of being OP!!! :o)

Still At It

I haven't written a real post for a whole week, but I've been here everyday tracking my points. I have officially started this challenge with my friend Amanda, and my sister, Leanne to stay on track for the whole month of June. So far, so good! I have 7 stickers on my calendar in a row, which hasn't happened in a very long time! Hooray. :o)
The 3 of us are having a little competition (with points for tracking our food daily, for exercising and for staying within our weekly flex points). Whoever is the winner actually gets a reward from the other 2, so its keeping us honest!! The competition started on June 1st, but its not too late if any of you are interested in joining us for the tracking and sticker-earning!
I'm thinking that maybe this would be fun to do every month, with different prizes as rewards for the winnner - I don't know. Maybe we'll be tired of it at the end... we'll see.
Anyway, just thought I'd say HI and let you know that the sticker challenge is offically on.

A Month of Stickers

Its a new month on the calendar today and it always inspires me to do well with my WW because I can then put stickers on the calendar - and I always think that a month full of stickers would be so nice... so here i am going to try it again - but this time I'm enlisting other people to do it with me - anyone up for it?? I say that we have some sort of reward, like the person with the most stickers will get a $5 or $10 gift card from the other people or something - this would be really fun if we had a bunch of us doing it for real - then the person who did the best would get something fun for a reward ... or something. What do you think? I think it would be a points system (since i seem to like them) like this:
every day you write your points down the whole day and stay within your target +1 point
every week you don't go over your 35 bonus points +3 or something
every 5 points of exercise you do also is +1
so in a month you'd have potential to get alot of points...
Anyone interested? you'd have to either post your daily points results as a comment here or on your own blog. I know there are at least 3 of you out there that might find this fun...
At the very least, I think I'll do this myself, and if I get oh say, 35 points this month, then I will buy myself something fun for $10 or something!
Here we go....

Okay, The Celebration Is Over

I have enjoyed very much eating a lot of junk over the past 4 days - partly because my tummy is finally feeling better and food looks good again and Ive been really hungry since feeling better too. And partly because I've been celebrating a little for achieving my goal (Note: this is never a good idea to do as soon as you've reached a weight loss goal because the next week you'll be heavier and you'll have to "re-reach" that goal again in a couple of weeks!!! Boo.

But, my celebration is done. You may have noticed that instead of posting my points in a post every day, I've been (pathetically so far) trying to post them in a little box at the top of the blog here. That way I won't totally be annoying those of you who have Google Reader or some such thing that notifies you everytime I post anything!

So, I am now done with the cookies, brownies, icecream, rum & coke, and mayonaise. At least for a while again. Back to work - I want to still be free next time I go to the WW meeting.

I DID IT!!! (and the flu probably helped...)

:o)
After 14 months, I have finally reached the first goal I set for myself - that was reaching 152 pounds. That meant a loss of 46.2 pounds and that I can now go to WW for free each week because I'm within 2 pounds of my offical WW target weight (which is 150 lbs). This week, I worked hard at it, plus I also had the flu for a while, and so I surpassed that goal (partly due to being dehydrated I'm sure!) My challenge will be to maintain that loss this week as I start to feel better and eat real foods again... we'll see how much of that loss was actually fat!

So, my next goals are:
1. to weigh less than Trevor, who has been 150 pounds since I met him almost 13 years ago. The lowest I've seen him was 145 when he was really sick one time, and the highest I've seen him is 155 - at which point he quickly proceeded to do situps and pushups every night for a week, and lost those extra pounds to get back to his normal weight. So, yeah, he's consistent. And I've always wanted to weigh less than him because doesn't every girl want to be smaller than her man? I've only weighed less than him once before (in the summer of 2007 just when I got pregnant with Elan) and it lasted for all of a couple of months. SO, that is my next goal - to get below whatever he weighs.

2. To get to 150 officially - since that is my official WW goal weight. When I do that, they'll have a little celebration for me at the meeting and I'll get the little charm for my keychain that you get when you reach your goal weight at WW.

3. To reach 148.2 - which will mean a loss of 50 pounds, which is more than I've ever lost before (I lost only 47 pounds the first time around on WW). When you reach 50 pounds, you get a little prize in the meeting at WW as well.

4. My ultimate goal is 138.2 - a loss of 60 pounds and my final destination weight. I'm not sure how long it'll take me to get there, but I'll plug away at it and get there one day.

So, there you have it - my goals for the next while. Thanks for sticking with me over the past 14 months as I've worked toward this first one - I appreciate the accountability you all give me with this here blog. It really really helps to know that someone/anyone is watching what I'm doing. So, thank you! And YAY!

Tuesday, May 26th

cereal and toast -3
smoothie -1

Monday May 25th, for what its worth...

Yeah, so the flu thats been pestering our house for seemingly forever really got me yesterday. So, this isn't really necessary, but I'll share Monday's points anyway...
breakfast snitches of Elan's dry cereal -1
powerade -2
fudgesicle -2
a bit of sandwich -5
some smoothie -1
Total was 12 left...

Sunday, May 24th

Breakfast A -4
Breakfast B -3
Toast for lunch -6
Milk -1
Yummy Indian supper which I've regretted ever since :o) -11
Snitch of Ice Cream -1
Total -3

Saturday, May 23rd

Toast and Milk -3

Hmmm... I started off well, but neglected to come back here and write things down... oops.
I'm gonna venture a guess anyway:

(toast and milk -3)
tuna sandwich and soup-3
smoothie & cookies -5
KD & hotdogs (apparently my tummy was feeling better by supper time!) -?? -9?
ice cream -6
total of -3? that sounds too good... I'm pretty sure I must have eaten something else in there that I'm forgetting... but I can't remember it for the life of me!
Oh well, back at it tomorrow.
Happy Sunday everyone! (all 5 of you who even look at this!) (BUT, I appreciate the 5 of you very much!!!!)
:o)

((okay I had cereal in the night too, which is an extra 3 bonus points))

Friday, May 22nd

The flu has captured our household (well, not Trevor yet) and so food isn't really interesting to me today, but I'm still gonna count points, out of interest's sake:
a bit of oatmeal -1
toast -3
animal crackers -1
toast -2
fruit smoothie -2
muffin-3
noodle soup -1
grilled cheese -5
left: 5
oh ya, and cereal in the night last night -2
a teeny tiny bit of trevor's yummy yummy ice cream -2 or 3??
=0

Thursday, May 21st (HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEANNE!)

Its my sister's bday today so I have to say Happy Birthday to her! :o) She's awesome. I don't know if I'm allowed to tell you this or not, but she recently joined WW and I'm proud of her for doing so. She was only about 10 pounds above where she usually is, but decided that she wanted to lose it now, rather than wait till she'd gained even more! I told her (as i'm sure you've heard me say before) that it is better to join WW and lose a little to become a lifetime member than to wait till you have a lot to lose! Its SO much cheaper when you're a lifetime member to lose weight than if you're not - so now she'll be a lifetime member forever! I know she's not planning to ever gain weight again, but these things happen (i.e. a pregnancy)/illness, and you never know what will happen!) but now she'll have the financial advantage of being a Lifetime member if any of that happens and she wants to lose the weight!
Side note? Leanne only actually had to lose 5 pounds in order to reach an acceptable WW goal weight, and she did it in the first week!! :o) Yay Leanne. So, now she's on her 6 weeks of maintenance and after that she'll be a lifetime member and go for free as long as she doesn't go more than 2 pounds above her goal weight.

ANYWAY, enough about all that...

Today:
cereal -3
latte -1
brownie -1
safeway chips -1
lunch -5
fruit & crackers snack: -2
more snack -1
snitches of icing -1
spaghetti and bread and chicken -9
cake, icing, and ice cream -??? I'm guessing 12???
punch -1
Total = -14

Weds, May 20th

Okay, I'm back at it here.
I actually managed to lose 1.4 pounds last week, and so I'm dangerously close to goal A that was set last year. WOOHOO. I only need to lose 0.6 lbs this week and I'll be going to WW for free! :o)
That being said, I need to stick to it this week, and points counting is what does that for me, so here we go:
oatmeal-3
muffin-3
safeway chips -1
toasted tuna & cheese -3
apple -1
dessert-1
smoothie and snack -2
lasagne, greek salad -8
coffee and vitamuffin -2
TOTAL = -1

Stuff Christians Like

Hey, have you seen the blog Stuff Christians Like?? If you are a Christian, or were one, on know any, its worth checking out - because it is darn funny. Today's post really made me giggle, so check it out!

p.s. I'm sorry if you're one of the people that read both of my blogs - this one is a repeat. But its too funny to not share!

Friday May 15th

I totally got to sleep in today (YAY!) and so I'm not eating my first points till 9:30, wheras normally by that time, I've had one breakfast and am on to my 2nd! :o) Makes it easier when you sleep in!
cereal-3
animal crackers-1
gilled cheese, veggies, snitches of Elan's, & Strawberries -5

Thursday, May 14th

Toast, PB&J, & Milk -4
Snitch of E's toast (i'm starting to see a pattern here) -1
Snack -1
Fruit-2
veg. soup & veggies -2
cottage cheese and vitamuffin-1
hamburger helper and cheese toast -8
coffee-1
muffin-3
TOTAL 0
midnight cereal-3

Weds, May 13th...

cereal & milk -4
snacks -3
coffee -1
sandwich and veggies and dip -5

OOPS - that train kinda derailed....
It's now 2:35 am and I'm up cuz I was up with Elan and then was hungry so had cereal, and just thought I better take a crack at guessing my points for the day...

muffins -9
samosas & chutney (both entirely homemade from scratch by Trevor and DELICIOUS) -6
popcorn -2
cereal at 2:30am -3
SO, total of 33, so 10 bonus points gone for this week. Boo.
But not out of control un-do-able....
See ya tomorrow!

Tuesday, May 12th...

Walk/Jog +3 (YAY I finally got on that treadmill in the morning before Elan woke up...)
cereal & milk -4
snitch Elan's cheerios (dumb, dumb, dumb!) -2
granola bar -2
yummy yummy sandwich, veggies, and dip -4
dessert (don't even ask what it was.... okay... I'll tell you - nutella and a corner of Elan's leftover lunch toast... again-dumb, dumb, dumb)-2
yogurt & frozen raspberries -2
That leaves me with: 11

Monday

Okay, so Saturday and Sunday were both a bit of a write off - but not so so so bad. (I probably haven't gone over my weekly bonus point allowance of 35 points). That being said, I MUST do well today and tomorrow if I want to have any success at all. So, here is Monday's story as it unfolds:

Honey bunches of oasts with cinnamon clusters (they're YUMMY!) and Skim Milk -4
grapes and animal crackers -2
yummy sandwich -3
slurpee -2 (? not sure how much a slurpee is - I shared a small one with both my kids and we didn't finish it at all...)
timbit -1
5 jellybeans -1(?) I have no idea how many points 5 jelly beans would actually be...
sausage-5, cauliflower & cheesewhiz-2, bbq sauce -2
evening snacks-3
=-2 total
(cereal snack in night -2) = -4 total

Friday So Far

latin groove +1
breakfast -5
snack -1
snitch -1
veggies, grilled cheese & soup -5
vitamuffin -1
icing snitches -3 (DOH!)
burger -5
macaroni salad -2
vitamuffin sundae -2
walk +1
total:0

Thursday's Progress

8:00 am:
excercise? nope - not yet - thought Elan would be awake any second, so i didn't... then she wasn't... boo.
1:23 pm:
I've still not exercised but I've been drinking a ton of water (well, a ton for me at least). in a way its helping, but I'm still totally dying to go have a nice choclately snack...
4:58pm:
I guess I'm doing okay - I can't belive how much resisting I've been doing today... shows me how much I've really been eating. We're going to a friend's house for supper tonight, so it might be a little sketchy, but I'll do my best and report back later! :o)

POINTS: (I get 23 per day) (my goal for today is to stay as close as possible to them, but especially just to start tracking again)

miniwheats and skim milk -3
snitches of E's cheerios -1
4 Animal Crackers -1
pre lunch snack (a bit of leftover baked salmon) -1
casserole, 1/2 breadstick, veggies & dip - 6
vitamuffin -1
a few safeway chips and a swig of E's chocolate milk -1
Supper At Agatha's -15???
snack -2
total: -8
but that's okay cuz at least i counted for the first time in weeks!! :o)

GET ON WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is what I've been yelling at myself for the past little while. I don't know if you've seen Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail or not, but I thought I'd spice this up with a little pic as well...
Yep, I need to get on with it (!!). I've been around 155 pounds for about 2 months now and I UNDERSTAND that that is a pretty good weight to be and that there are a bazillion people in the world that would LOVE to be that weight etc. etc. etc.

However.
I am not those people and I have my own particular journey that I'm working on and staying at the same weight for this long IS. NOT. ACCEPTABLE. I am only 3.2 pounds away from the goal I first set for myself last year - that is the weight at which attending weight watchers meetings will be free for me again. I have been "so close, yet so far away" for way too stinking long!

So.
I have decided that I'm going to make myself go to weight watchers every week (and pay for it every week) until I've reached 152 pounds (my next goal). Normally, I only go once a month, but that doesn't seem to have been working for me and if I know that it is costing me ... and a lot! every week, then I might be more motivated to GET ON WITH IT.

Having said that - I made this decision yesterday and I did not do the most fantastic today. I have been trying to limit what I eat and trying to drink my water, but I did not write down what I ate and I actually was not able to exercise. But, I am still motivated and think that the sooner I lose these 3.2 pounds the less money it'll cost me.

So, my goals are as follows:
~to drink water a lot. I usually don't include this in my goals, but I'm thinking it might keep me from eating too much or choosing coffee with cream instead.
~to start writing down what I'm eating (but man, that's gonna be hard cuz I'm so totally addicted to eating right now... but i can do it - i've done it before and i'll do it again).
~to come here and blog about it alot
~to try to exercise as often as possible

And that's that.

((My sister just got here and we're gonna go watch a movie. :o) (without binging, I hope)))

Tomorrow

Oh I'm having one of those weeks/weekends where I'm not really trying too hard... my plan is to start strong again tomorrow. Seems like every time I want to restart again something comes up to distract me or something. But, I don't think I've really gained weight here so that is okay - I'm going to WW on Tuesday - no matter what. I know I'm gonna try to think of some reason not to, but I really need to go. Paying money to not lose weight isn't an option, so maybe if I pay that'll motivate me!!

Anyway, this was just a little nothing post to say that tomorrow is gonna be different.

For real this time.

Stupid Murphy's Law

Okay, something I like to do is set my alarm a little early and get up to exercise before the kids wake up. But for the past 2 weeks (when we were at home, at least), Elan has been waking up earlier and earlier - yesterday and the day before it was something like 20 after 6. So, today I decided not to get up at 6:00 only to be interrupted in the middle of a jog. I woke up at 6:30 when Trevor left, but again, didn't get on the treadmill because I thought Elan would be up any minute.

Well.

Its now 7:23 and she is just starting to babble in there. And I could easily have gotten my walk/jog done.

Grrrrrrrrrr.

Guess I'll try to sneak one in at nap time...

Sigh

Okay, I've been avoiding this here blog for quite some time now. And I've been avoiding eating properly for about as long.

Boo.

We went away (twice), we had a lot of treats, I got off of my routine, and I just basically decided to enjoy myself.

Sigh.

I've been trying to get back on the bandwagon since Saturday - when we came back home - and I guess you could say that every day is going a wee bit better than the last, but I still have yet to do a day properly... that is, to exercise, and to write down my points and stay within them. I might do it today yet, but I'm not sure - we'll see how the rest of the afternoon goes!!

I always start the day on track, and then its just a matter of time until I just go nuts, and totally lose it. So, we'll see.

I just want to be good without spending my whole day thinking about food and what I wish I was eating and what I'm gonna eat next. I'm such an addict. It sucks.

But this is, afterall, a Lifelong Journey, is it not? So, it doesn't end here - I'm gonna keep trying.

Stupid Food.
Stupid Addiction.

Guess What?

Well Easter weekend went fairly well and a little bit bad, but mostly really well. I went for my first ever jog outside (oh yeah, I think I mentioned that already)... and I stayed out of the candy for the most part. I did have a few oopses but I have vowed to focus on the positive. So here it is...
I bought a new bathing suit on Saturday and it is a size 8!

A SIZE EIGHT!!!!!

I never thought my body would fit into clothing numbered that small. It was a definite first for me - I got down to a size 9 last time, but this time I'm feeling smaller, even though my weight on the scale is still higher than my lowest weight a couple of years ago. Maybe its the exercise? I don't know, but its nice.

So, what did YOU do right this weekend?? I'm sure there was something...!

Happy Easter!

I can't believe its been 10 days since I've posted here. I've been alive - plugging away. I've been doing fairly well (or really well) this week so far. I went to the WW meeting and it helped me to have some good ideas for how to prep for this Easter weekend. I've been doing my best and I"ll share more with you later...
But for now I just wanted to share that today I went for a jog OUTSIDE! Where people could see me!!! Yeah, it was crazy. I enjoyed it but I found it to be tougher than the treadmill cuz I didn't know how fast I was going, and I think I went too fast and got tired out pretty quickly. But still, it was great and I'm proud.
I hope you're all having a good Easter! Enjoy it! But not too many mini eggs.... :o)

This Really Spoke To Me Today

Please go check out this article about our obsession with the scale, and our weight. I think it was exactly what I needed to hear this morning. I didn't go to WW yesterday cuz I knew the scale wasn't gonna show a loss - but I've been doing really well the past few weeks as far as exercise and lifestyle change goes. So, I'm going to go with the above mentioned article - which you should really really go see - and say that the lifestyle changes and exercise are more important than a scale telling me that my body mass is half a pound less than the week before. That is only one way to measure.
So - go read that article (you can click on the word article here and it will take you right to it... for those of you who didn't know)!

Still Here - Doing Okay I Think

Okay, I think the title says it all actually. I'm still here, still plugging away and doing okay. We'll see how weigh in is on Tuesday.
Just thought I'd let you know that I'm not hiding - just busy.
:o)
Have a good week, friends!

Okay, Okay ... I'm Back

Phew ... the past week has been pretty crazy for my WW self. Last Thursday and Friday, I totally rocked. I baked a cake and 4 dozen cupcakes, and iced them all WITHOUT HAVING ONE SINGLE LICK of icing.

For me, that is a small - no wait - a HUGE miracle.

I'll tell you how I did it. I knew that I would undoubtedly end up eating gobs of icing on those 2 days while I was baking, and didn't want to. So, I suddenly realized - I DON'T HAVE TO! But I knew I would need some pretty good motivation.

So, I went shopping on Thursday, and bought myself a nice new top (for $9.99) and said that if I didn't snitch - even a taste - then I could keep the top and wear it to Elan's party on Saturday. If I DID snitch, I had to return the top to the store.

Well, it worked.

However, note to self: next time you have a great idea like this, make sure it covers ALL the bases. I probably should have said something more like - if I didn't overeat on cake or icing at all while said item was in the house, then I'd get a reward.

Because, after I succeeded and had already worn the top, I totally proceeded to snitch way too much leftover cake on Sunday and Monday. Boo.

I spent a few days spinning my wheels and feeling gross, but have now kicked it back into gear and hope to stay on program for the rest of this week!! It drives me NUTS how my mind works according to the Weight Watchers week - I didn't get back on track until Wednesday, cuz thats when my WW week starts. Oh well. At least I have a WW week to kick me back on track.

So, I've gotten back on the treadmill yesterday and today, and only went one point over yesterday. I'm hoping to stay within my points today and get a star for that too.

And there you have it, my crazy week summed up for you.

Oh, one more thing. I started doing some childcare last week to make some more money for us. I'll be doing it 3 days per week from now on. And I realized that THAT is also something very tough for me - cuz when I'm stressed out with the kids, I go to food. And with a 9 month old, 12 month old, 3 and 3/4 old, and 3 and a half year old, I do have moments of stress. Many. So, that's my new thing to work on - not eating to comfort myself while the extra kids are here. I'll try to keep you posted on how thats going too.

Happy Thursday Everyone!

My Report Back

Okay, so I did it - I got up even earlier this morning in order to get on the treadmill and it worked for the most part. Elan still woke up in the middle, but 25 minutes in, instead of 5 minutes in, so that's not so bad. I still managed to finish my 3 point jog. And now I'm on target for my points so far today. I WILL NOT fall off this bandwagon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So there.

I can do it. (And you can too).

Confession Time

Ugh.
I ate SO MUCH food today. Its not even funny. And I know it started out being stress-related. Then it was "oh, I've already screwed up, I might as well enjoy a "day off"" Then it was "Holy Cow! I suck!" (which led me to eat more) and so on.
Icky.
And since today is the start of my WW week, I have to be very careful not to let that mindset carry on to thinking that I've already messed this week up and I might as well wait till next week to be good again. Especially considering the birthday cake temptation issue that will be showing up tomorrow and hanging out for a few days.
Ack.
I must start fresh tomorrow morning. For me, that's gonna hafta mean getting on the treadmill EARLY. I've gotten up early to jog 2 out of the last 3 mornings, and 5 minutes into it, Elan has woken up both times and I've had to quit.
Argh.
So, tomorrow, I guess I'll get up even earlier! Which will be tricky - cuz Trev is going to work at 1:00 this morning. So, he won't be here to help me wake up. But, I can do this. If I jog, I'll feel good about myself and that will prompt me to eat right.
(Sigh)
I'll report back to you all tomorrow.

Which One to Choose??

As I was eating my lunch the other day, I got to thinking about how the "new version" of Weight Watchers has some really good points. One of them is to try to always choose foods that are going to fill you up for longer instead of smaller foods that are the same points value. A good example of this is the lunch I was eating that day. It was 4 points and left me feeling absolutely stuffed!! 1 point of strawberries, 2 points of omlette - I used only egg whites and some fat free cheese, and 1 point of toast - 2 peices of whole wheat WW bread is only 1 point. It was an awesome meal.

On the other hand, I could have chosen to have 2 of the cookies that were in my cupboard tempting me. They were the noname version of oreos and are 2 points each - for a total of 4 points.

Which of those choices has more calories?? Neither. Which one will make me fatter?? Neither. Which one will make me feel fuller for longer?? Well, that seems obvious.

I'm trying desperately to remember this "rule" as I'm deciding what to eat from day to day, but it can be tough. Sometimes, all I want is some of the nastily delicious mudpie brownie ice cream that is currently in our freezer!!! (4 points of that would only be a QUARTER CUP of icecream - or 4 tablespoons...) (ACK).

So, I try. This is going to be a tough week for me because we're having Elan's bday party this weekend and I'm making a couple of cakes and CAKE with ICING is my most nastiest temptation. I just want to eat and eat and eat. So, I'm gonna try to exercise a lot and not eat any bonus points all week except for that day. We'll see how I do...

The Difference A Year Can Make!

See how my baby and I have changed since a year ago this evening?? I think we're both much happier with our bodies today!! :o) But I sure was happy a year ago this evening too. Happy Birthday Baby Doll!

What Was it I Wanted to Say??

I've been thinking that I've had so many posts mulling around in my head lately that I'd have to do one a day until they're all accomplished. But I can't even remember them. Okay, no wait - there are a couple of ideas coming back to me - but its waaay too late to sit and type them out right now, so I'll just say hope you all have a good week this week.

It's Elan's 1st birthday tomorrow - and I was thinking about how a year ago right now, I weighed something like 70ish pounds more than I do right now! Crazy. I did NOT enjoy being 3rd trimester pregnant AT ALL. I'm so glad I'm not pregnant any more!! :o)

A Little Bragging

Well. Today my dad, grandma, and sister came to visit and we had some birthday cake after lunch. (HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DAD AND ELAN!!) Anyway, the cake was a lot more points than I am allowed at the noon meal ever. Well, I thought to myself "Today is thrown out the window! Oh Well!!" But after they left, I FELT LIKE JOGGING, so I got on the treadmill and did my daily jog.
Then, we went to BK for supper, and I have to tell you - I wasn't hungry, so I DIDN'T ORDER ANYTHING. Yeah. I just had a coffee while my family ate burgers and fries. Yeah.
Then, when we got home later, I was getting hungry so I had a WW version of PB&J for 3 points and that was that. I have to say I think I might have made up for my lunch!!
I'm just astonished at myself.

Wow, that was a boastful post. Sorry. But I had to share.
:o)

My Thoughts Today

Oh, they are many... my brain is all over the place and I'm driving myself crazy. I had plans for a few different post ideas here, but now I think they're all gonna be jumbled into one.
Lets start with confessions and boasting... I have to tell you that this morning was one of the first times in a while that I ate a bunch out of stress and didn't care. The good news? It was really only 6 points worth... The bad news? I wasn't hungry, I've been doing good lately, and after that little binge, I am tempted to just be mad at myself all day for this, and it spoiled my lunch, which I am now craving even though I'm not hungry - simply cuz it is routine to eat lunch right now. grrr.
Okay, the boasting - I have gotten up before the kids yesterday and today and done my jogging. YAY. I have been slowly boosting the length of the jog and the speed of the jog. So today, I was up to a 5 minute brisk walk, followed by 21 minutes of jogging 5.3 mph and then a 7 minute cooldown walk. So, I'm pretty happy with myself for getting "back on" the exercise bandwagon. I put that in quotes cuz really - last week when I "fell off" the exercise bandwagon - all that meant is that I only jogged 3 times in one week -not 7. Which actually makes me laugh because that is still pretty good. But this week, I'd really like to do it daily, and so that is my goal again.

What else?

I've been feeling fat lately. Not feeling the boosted self esteem that I've talked about here before. Now that could be a symptom that a certain feminine experience is about to occur to me, but it makes me mad. How can I possibly look in the mirror at this body I've worked very hard to get to and see only the fat and the rolls??? Come on, Colleen!!! It just makes me mad that I still feel that. I think I'm going to have to accept that even the thinnest woman in the world could look in the mirror and see fat. That is something I'm going to have to work on with myself. I know that most people don't lose weight and then keep it off and I'd really like to not be one of those people. So one of the battles I'm going to have to fight is in my mind. Well really that is the biggest one. Learning to love myself just for what I am and then take care of this body just because its the right thing to do. But my brain is just so silly.

Anyway, I lost 0.4 last week - which was pretty much what I expected cuz I was bang on program for about half the week and the other half, I did pretty good but not perfectly. These last 4 pounds till my next goal are proving to be difficult! I think its just the lighter you get, the slower it goes. But even a 0.2 loss per week is better than nothing - and is better than a gain!!

So, I will keep on going! Sorry for the long rant. But I feel better getting that off my chest. Happy Thursday, Friends.

Made For Keeps Blog Giveaway

Hey, here is a fun giveaway I found through my friend Shayne's blog - click here to check it out! You can enter to win a fun prize. If you are into stampin up or card making - this blog is for you!
Just thought I'd share. :o)

REASON TEN - To Be In Control

I hate the feeling of being out of control. Like when I'm in the kitchen at 10 pm and not actually hungry, but am stuffing my face like a maniac while no one is watching. I am not in control at that point. Or while I'm preparing supper and then cleaning up after supper, the constant picking at the food and snitch, snitch, snitching. It drives me nuts. I drive myself nuts doing that. And I am not in control.

When I am living out of control, I gain weight. Or at least certainly don't lose weight. I think about food constantly and, I am embarrassed to admit, often hide what I'm eating from other people. I act like an addict. Because thats what I am - a food addict. It amazes me how much I can identify with friends I have or have had who are trying to recover from other addictions - drugs, alcohol, smoking, etc. I think that the behaviours of addicts are in many ways universal. You just substitute what the object of the addiction is.

That is one reason that I have named this blog "A Lifelong Journey" - because I know that I will have to be working at this forever. I'm not just here for the weight loss - I'm here because of my addiction to food. This will be something I have to be conscious of all the days of my life.

So, the last reason on my top ten list is that I want to be in control. It feels good to be in control - not to have the food control me, but for me to control it. Things like throwing away the last 2 bites of cheese burger because I'm not hungry anymore, or not snitching brownie batter while I'm baking them because I don't have the points for it, or getting on the treadmill to jog even when I totally don't feel like it - because I know it is good for me and healthy for me and I will feel better when I'm done jogging. Those are things I never would have imagined would make me feel good - or that I could even do. But I have done them more and more lately and am amazed at how great I feel as a result.

Its funny cuz Trevor said to me a few weeks ago "You know what is most attractive about the new you, Colleen? ... Its your self-control."

Huh.

Not how I look!

Nice. Cuz, truthfully, having self-control is probably one of my most important reasons for me to be doing this. So I'm glad that its working.

I WILL KEEP ON GOING!! Only 3.6 pounds till I can go to WW for free! 5.6 pounds till my WW goal weight, about 11 pounds till I pass my lowest weight ever, and 17.8 pounds till my ultimate goal. I CAN DO IT!

REASON NINE - To Shop In Regular Stores

For most of my life (since, I don't know, maybe grade 9?), I have been a size 16 or 18. There were a couple of years there that I was probably more like a 20. As a result, I did most of my shopping in high school and after at Cotton Ginny Plus, and other similar type places - stores that were merged with "normal size" clothes, so I wouldn't feel like I was shopping in a plus sized store - but really I was shopping in plus sized stores. And for pretty much my whole life, I couldn't just go into stores like Suzy Sheer, Smart Set, La Senza, Le Chateau, Bootlegger, the Gap, and others - except maybe for a freak chance where a size XL would be hiding somewhere and would just maybe fit me. Shopping was always stressful, never fun, and always made me feel fat and bad about myself. (As a side note, I think that's probably why I'm not a "girly" shopper - I don't like to linger and shop around and try things on. The first thing I try that works is the one I go home with. This bugs my mom, but I just can't stand spending an entire day in a mall. Drives me nuts. Sorry Mom)
ANYWAY, as I started to lose weight on Weigh Down (back in 2001) and then again on WW in 2006, I started to see that there is hope that one day I'll be able to go into a store, grab my size, and hardly have to try it on. And this has actually happened to me recently a few times. I bought my size Medium exercise clothes without even trying them on. And a few other things too. Crazy.
So, being able to shop with more ease and at "regular" stores is one of the huge perks and motivaters for me on this journey. I'm loving being closer to my goal weight and finding things to fit. Actually, a new problem is arising - and that is that very often, the size Medium clothes are the ones that sell first, and so I'm finding that my size is usually the one that is missing first in the store (wheras, size XL seems to be more easy to find...) But I'll take that problem anyday. :o)
Anyway, I'm looking forward to when I finally am at my FINAL goal (which is 138 lbs, by the way). I'm going to go on a huge shopping spree. In the cool stores. LE CHATEAU here I come! I never even used to have the self-confidence to step into Le Chateau... so dumb. So, I will go into those stores and I will buy the rockinest outfits ever. All I have to do is KEEP ON GOING. I can do this.

REASON EIGHT - To Be Like Leanne

I know I recently did a whole post on this - so I'm not gonna reapeat myself here. But I wrote this 'top 10 reaons I want to lose weight' list back in January, before I wrote that other post. And its true - it motivates me a lot to want to look like Leanne and to know that if my sister can be thin, so can I (DAGNABIT!) because we have the exact same genes. There's no reason I can't be the same as her - and I will be soon.
:o)

REASON SEVEN - For My Health

You know, you hear it all the time that being overweight causes a ton of health problems, but as an overweight person, that didn't really get through to me. It was only after I started to lose the weight the first time around that I realized that this would be good for my health for real. That and exercising - I'm so glad that I'm starting to get into it, because I just keep hearing more and more how keeping trim and exercising will help you to live longer and avoid a ton of different health problems. So, I can now say that my health is actually a motivator for me to continue to do this right.
I saw an awesome episode of Oprah during the week of her "Oprah's Best Life" series, where they talked about Health as the topic - you can read more about it by clicking here. I still have the episode saved on my DTVR because it was so interesting and informative. There is so much I don't know about my body and science and whats good for me. Its something I'm starting to become more and more interested in.
Anyway, our health is actually very important - I think we all tend to put it last - but if we don't take care of our bodies, and they fail us - all of the other priorities would be for nothing. We need these bodies we're in and so we must treat them with care.

p.s. Is what you want at the moment best for your body? Don't give up what you want most!!!

REASON SIX - For My Husband

I know that losing weight for other people is the wrongest possible motivation and so I'd just like to clarify that I obviously have many of my OWN reasons for this weight loss - as you can see from the 8 out of 10 reasons I'll be listing that have nothing to do with other people! :o) Also, you all know cuz I've said it before that Trevor is totally supportive of me and never has made me feel like I had to lose weight in order to be beautiful to him or anything silly like that. He totally loves me no matter what. (And I know that cuz I weighed much much more than I do now when he met me and when we were dating and when we got married!!!) So, that is awesome for me.
But still, I want to be the kind of wife that he is proud to show off (and of course, he'll always say that he's always been proud to show me off... ) but you know - its in my head to want to make him proud. ((if you haven't read yesterday's post about his co-worker not recognizing me, you should - its a good example of me being happy to make Trevor proud)). And secondly, I want to lose weight to be more ... well... (all family members please PLUG YOUR EARS!) ... to be more sexy. shhh. Don't tell anyone I said that. :o) But its true that losing weight and having more confidence are a definite bonus and I'm just saying...
And thirdly in this area - I've ALWAYS weighed more than Trevor excepting for a few months right before I got pregnant with Elan - and I've always wished to be "his little woman" if you know what I mean. And so, that is something else I'm motivated to work towards. I weigh 155.8 right now and as I've mentioned, he's usually 150 - but max 155 - so I'm ALMOST there again. And the day I weigh less than him, I'm gonna have a little party - cuz that's always been something I've wanted.
So, those are my thoughts about my motivation to lose weight in relation to my husband.
AND REMEMBER...
:o)
hee hee, I don't think I even have to type it - cuz you all know what I'm going to say!!

LETS NOT GIVE UP WHAT WE WANT MOST FOR WHAT WE WANT AT THE MOMENT!

Happy Wednesday Friends.

Finally Some Results!!

Okay, I weighed in today and I'm finally seeing some results from all my recent hard work. YAY. I lost 2.4 this week -- but I have to say that I gained 0.2 last week - so if you average that out, it was still my pound per week loss. I'm not sure I trusted last week's weigh in.
But whatever. I'm happy to have some affirmation that all of my point counting and attempts at exercising are worth it.

That and today, a guy I know saw me and I smiled and waved at him and he didn't really reply. Then, later Trevor was talking to him and the guy said to Trevor that some chick had smiled and waved at him weird and he didn't know who it was and Trevor said "oh it was probably colleen" and the guy said - no there's no way that was Colleen. And totally wouldn't believe Trevor until I came back in and started talking to him and then it was hilarious to watch his face when he realized it was me - only I had lost weight, got contacts, and got some confidence too. :o) I rather enjoyed it.

And so, I will continue to put what I want MOST first, and not what I want at the moment. We can do this, people. We can do it.

REASON FIVE - My Children

(I had written a post earlier today that has disappeared through a series of silly events, and so I'm stuck writing a quick re-cap instead!)

MY CHILDREN are one of my biggest motivators for this weight loss journey - for 3 main reasons:

1. I want to ensure that they learn to develop a healthy relationship with food, calories, fat, treats, exercise, and with themselves. I want them to learn to take care of themselve, but not to obsess about it. And I want to lead by example.

2. I want them to be proud of their Mama (even though they probably would be proud of me, regardless of how I look).

3. I want to have the energy required to keep up with them and to have fun with them - playing outside and stuff -not just telling them to exercise and play, but doing it with them.

I love those kids and I want to be the best Mommy possible for them - and for me that means pulling my food-addicted exercise-loathing self together and learning how to be a better person for myself first. Then I can share that with them.

xo

REASON FOUR - To Have Energy

I don't know how many of you have had the experience of losing weight. If you have, then you'll understand when I say that by losing weight you automatically have more energy. I think a big part of this is that everything you do when you're overweight is like having a bunch of dumbells attached to your body. For me - having lost 40 pounds - means that 11 months ago, I would have been walking around with 8 different 5 pound weights duct taped to my limbs and torso. That's a lot of weight! I just did my sculpting exercise routine, and used my 5 pound weights, and I can't imagine having 8 of those attached to me all day - while doing laundry, while walking up the stairs, while wrestling with my children, while doing the dishes, while carrying my 23 pound baby around in addition!! Now, how about those people that have lost 75 pounds, 100 pounds, or more!! WOW.
Anyway, all that is to say that losing weight gives me more energy. It's so much easier to do those daily tasks now, without the extra pounds weighing me down. In addition to that - the exercise I've been doing also gives me energy. If I get up in the morning and go on my treadmill before anything else, I will inevitably have a better, more energetic attitude and outlook that day.
So, that is reason number 4 for me. I love having more energy. And so, I will keep-a-going.

(DO NOT GIVE UP WHAT YOU WANT MOST FOR WHAT YOU WANT AT THE MOMENT!) (DO NOT GIVE UP WHAT YOU WANT MOST FOR WHAT YOU WANT AT THE MOMENT!) (DO NOT GIVE UP WHAT YOU WANT MOST FOR WHAT YOU WANT AT THE MOMENT!) (DO NOT GIVE UP WHAT YOU WANT MOST FOR WHAT YOU WANT AT THE MOMENT!)

REASON THREE - To Look Good

I don't know if other people would agree or not, but I personally think I look better thin. Maybe its because I have more confidence and that comes across as beauty, or maybe its cuz having more confidence makes me want to take better care of myself - but whatever it is, I think that making all this effort is worth it because I like looking good.

(wow that was a vain little post... but you guys know what I'm trying to say, right?)

REASON TWO - Clothes That Fit

I made this top ten list back in January - and this is the order they came to my mind then. I have to say that this reason itself was more one of my initial reasons for working hard at the weight loss - the more I lose, the more I have clothes of all different sizes around to wear. Right now, I have clothes anywhere from size 9 (snug!) to size 14 (way too big) in my closet. But, I much prefer to wear the smaller ones and have them look good. My newest clothes are all the smaller ones - they were bought a couple of years ago - and so I really want to be able to wear them as opposed to my larger ones that were mostly bought in like 2002 before we moved to Japan.

Anyway, that is today's reason for remembering:

Don't sacrifice what you want most for what you want at the moment!

REASON ONE - Self Esteem

I think one of the biggest reasons that I've wanted to lose weight, and one of the rewards that I've enjoyed most so far is the fact that it increases my self-esteem. I have no idea why this is, and it makes me mad, because i know there are millions of overweight people in the world who are struggling with poor self esteem as a result, which is sad. BUT for whatever reason, losing weight does make me feel MUCH more confident about myself, much more beautiful, much more worthy, and just gives me a general aura that I know has not been there for most of my life. And I enjoy that. So, I've chosen it as reason #1 why I've been working on this so hard, and why I will continue to keep going - even when it is stinking tough, like this week is for some reason.
I deserve to lose weight and I deserve my self-respect. And I deserve to feel that confidence that comes with it.

As a side note, my big mantra this week has been "Don't give up what you want most for what you want at the moment" - I can't believe how often I've been chanting that to myself to avoid making poor eating choices... but so far its working.

(("Don't give up what you want most for what you want at the moment""Don't give up what you want most for what you want at the moment""Don't give up what you want most for what you want at the moment""Don't give up what you want most for what you want at the moment""Don't give up what you want most for what you want at the moment""Don't give up what you want most for what you want at the moment"... ))

:o) Just thought I'd let you in on whats going on in my head today...

Here's to sticking to it and having good self esteem ... because we all deserve it.

Rethinking the Plan

Well, I went to Weight Watchers yesterday and got a surprise - I had gained 0.2 over the past 2 weeks. My first reaction was to want to burst into tears right there (thankfully I held back). Its so frustrating being only 6 pounds (well 6.2 now) from my next big goal of being able to go to WW for free - and then to have a setback. I'm so close!!!! Grrrr. I know all of the things that I'm supposed to remember - like 1) I've been exercising and so I'm building muscle, 2) the scale is just one way to know how I'm doing - I should also look at how I feel and how I look, 3) the scale could be reflecting a difference in what I was wearing or had eaten that day compared to other weeks, 4) not to let it bother me, just keep on going and the pounds will come off.

I know all that.

BUT, I was still right ripped about it and sad too. I thought I had been busting my butt over the past 2 weeks and I wanted results!!!!

But I have to say that I came home and thought about it some more and decided that maybe I hadn't been as strict as I'd thought over the past 2 weeks. For one thing, I only got 5 stars in those 14 days that indicate a perfect day of points eating (with NO bonus points being used). For another thing, I was taking the Activity Points (APs) that I was earning and I was eating them every day. And for a 3rd thing - gaining 0.2 is not really a gain - its pretty much maintenance. And so that means that I just need to cut back a point or 2 daily from what I've been doing.

So, I think the new plan has to be something like this:

• I will stay within my 23 points every day this week.
• I will not use any bonus points at all.
• Instead, I will tally up my APs each day and use those as my bonus points throughout the week (because they are transferable - you can save them up and use them all at once, as long as you use them within that week).
• I will not let this discourage me and cause me to binge or give up. But MAN its frustrating.

As an example of my frustration, let me pick on my dear sweet husband, who just had his birthday on Monday. We got an ice cream cake for him on the weekend, and let me tell you - I have not had even ONE peice of it. Not one. He has been having at least a big peice a day since Sunday. In addition to this, we bought him a Mississippi Mud Pie frozen pie about a week ago - for him to have as treats in the evenings, while I'm having my Vitamuffin sundaes. He wasn't having any treats for the longest time, while I was sitting there with my sundaes, and so I bought him his own, because the Vitamuffins are too expensive to share.

ANYWAY, so he has also been having a peice of 12 point mudpie almost every evening for the past week or more. And it hasn't bothered me at all really. I generally like my vitamuffin sundaes and I know its all for the greater cause of losing weight, which is what I really want more than that food.

But last night, when he came downstairs with his mudpie after having a peice of ice cream cake for dessert after supper - I just about lost it! Luckily it came out as a joking rant with much ranting and stuff, and not actually as anger - because it is not Trevor's fault that he is 150 pounds and has been since I met him, give or take 5 pounds. (Literally, he's never been more than 155 or less than 145 in the 12 years that I've known him). Its not his fault that I was eating only a 1 point vitamuffin and exercising like a crazy fool and that I gained 0.2. And he IS really very supportive, which I appreciate, ... but darnit - at that moment, I realized that I'm getting VERY TIRED of being good!!!!

So, here's what I need to do. I need to remember why I'm doing this and that it is worth it. So, this week, I'm going to post every day about a different reason why it is worth it to me to keep going.

And it IS worth it.

That is my rant for the day and my new plan for the week. Sorry it was long - but I had to get that off my chest.

I Did It!

I set 24 APs as my goal for this week and I have finished it! WOOHOO!

I'm a little nervous about weigh-in today though, because for some reason my scale seems to be refusing to work this morning (dead battery??) and so I have no idea what to expect. Normally I weigh at home first and that way there are no surprises... So we will see.

I'll keep you posted.

The Day That Pigs Fly

I think that day has arrived.

Because I just jogged for 20 minutes straight.

By Choice.

And I didn't die... in fact, I feel quite good.

Weird.

Weighty Matters

Hey, I don't know if any of you have checked out the blog "Weighty Matters" (over to the right in my "blog list" section) - but his post today about Congenital Happiness Sufferers is pretty hilarious. You can click on it to the right or click here to see todays post. :o)

Happy Friday Everyone!

Plugging Away

Oh, I almost gave up this week - the bandwagon is a very tipsy thing - and it is SO SO SO easy to fall right off. We went to Saskatoon last weekend to visit Trev's parents and had a lovely time. I stayed right on track on Friday on the drive up there (which is something I'm proud of) and actually, I did really really well on Saturday (which was Valentine's Day and included a crazy fun time of watersliding, as well as a BIG meal out at Moxie's) - and doing well, despite that big meal, is another thing I'm really proud of.

What I'm not proud of is that on Sunday (after the pressure-filled Valentine's Day was over) I fell off of that stupid bandwagon. And do you know why?? Because I got too hungry, and then made a poor decision about lunch (Vern's by the slice, for those of you who know what that is) and then, my crazy brain playing my silly mind-games took it from there.

Because, in my head, you can't have a little slip up for lunch and then finish the day well. Oh no. Once I've made one little mistake - THAT'S IT!!! IT'S ALL OVER!!! PUT AWAY YOUR TRACKER AND GO TO TOWN, BABY!!!!

Grrr.

So. It took me until yesterday to finally get back on track after said slip-up. And I find it very interesting because Weight Watchers' big thing lately is to be careful not to get too hungry. ((as an aside - isn't that SO different than Weigh Down was??!!)) Anyway, I think they're right. If you are able to make your food decisions before you are totally famished, you will think more clearly. Interesting.

So, Monday I ate everything in sight. Tuesday, I tried to get back on the bandwagon by writing everything down again and getting on the treadmill again. But as previously mentioned, that bandwagon is a peskily slippery thing, and is not easy to get onto. And then finally, yesterday I did stay within my points.

yay.

Now the trick will be to stick with it. I have 6 pounds to lose, and have changed my goal date to March 24th - which is the one year anniversary of joining WW last time. I think that 6 pounds in 5 weeks is a lot more do-able for me than 6 pounds in 4 weeks. For some reason, even losing a pound a week is a majorly difficult thing for me.

Oh, and yes, I do know that this sort of a number goal is not good and will only make me frustrated when all of my good efforts don't work. But I'm still doing it. :o)

Okay, that's enough babble from me today. Happy Thursday everyone.

Sisters

I am so lucky to have the best sister in the world. We are the bestest of friends and I love her very much. And I want to be just like her. But one way that I have not often been like her in my life is our sizes. She has always been much thinner than me. And I think she's awesome for doing that - both my mom and I have struggled with our weight and eating our whole lives, so its amazing that Leanne didn't pick that up too!! I thought that I would go back and find a few pictures of Leanne and I as kids to post here, but I just kept finding more and more and ended up doing somewhat of a montage of our lives instead! :o) This was probably more fun for me to do than for you to read, but what the heck.

So, here are Leanne and I in pictures:

(Mom, you should probably have a kleenex in hand for this post...)

1983 (I think this was Leanne's one month birthday)

Easter 1986
My first day of grade 5, her first day of Kindergarten - 1988

First day of my grade 9, her grade 4 - 1992
My first day of grade 12, her grade 7 - 1995 My high school grad - 1996
My wedding day - 1999

Her high school grad - 2001 During Mom & Leanne's visit to Japan - Christmas 2002
Her wedding day - 2003
Leanne visiting me (pregnant with William) in New Brunswick - August, 2005
Another visit to NB, just after William was born - December, 2005

A visit here while I was pregnant with Elan - February, 2008
At her University grad just after Elan was born - April, 2008 I think its safe to say that I've never been upset with Leanne for being thin or been jealous of her in a nasty way - but I have always wanted to be just like her. And so, the following story made me very happy...

Yesterday evening, I went out grocery shopping by myself, just to get a few quick things. I went up to the check out line and at the front were my Uncle Dale, Auntie Annette, and 2 cousins. So, I kinda quickly bumped in line and just said "HI" and then went back to my spot. I noticed Uncle Dale looked at me a little bit oddly, and then after they were done checking out, came back to talk to me some more. He came back and said, "What are YOU doing here all by yourself??" And I said, "well, Trevor is at home with the kids..." and he suddenly looked all embarrassed, and said to me "OOOH!! Have you lost some weight or something???" :o) And I said, "WHY, Yes I have!" (I was also wearing my contacts, which are a new thing for me...) And he again, looked embarassed and said, "oh, I'm sorry! I thought..." and I said "You thought I was Leanne, didn't you!!?" And he had.

YES!!!


It was a happy little moment for me.

I love my sister and I am excited that as I'm getting thinner, we're starting to look even more alike. Now, if I could just get braces like she did....